“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
Donald Trump announced the formation of a presidential exploratory committee. To find his modesty.
Last week was St. Patrick’s Day and the Prime Minister of Ireland celebrated it at the White House. Finally, the Secret Service agents got themselves a drinking buddy.
To commemorate the day “Starbucks” introduced a NEW Irish coffee. It’s not perked, dripped or ground. It’s smashed.
It’s not true that celebrants spend all of St. Patrick’s day in a bar drinking. They spend at least 6 hours in the street — just lying there.
After a mysterious absence, VLADIMIR PUTIN appeared this week in public for the first time in nearly two weeks. My guess is he got a “boob job.” Well, we’re going to find out pretty quick, the guy never wears a shirt.
Actually, he was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by “PUTINCARE.”
Sunday was the L.A. Marathon. It’s the only time of the year you see someone running in the streets of Los Angeles and it’s not at the end of a car chase.
MARCH MADNESS is officially underway and it’s great for both the spectator and the collage player. For the youngster making it to the “Final Four” is a once in a lifetime experience. Just like making it to class.
And there have already been some major upsets. For instance, men all over the country are telling their wives they are going to watch basketball all weekend — and their wives are really upset.
March Madness isn’t that big a deal with CHARLIE SHEEN. Maybe it’s because he has March madness, April madness, May madness and it goes right to the end of the year.
Speaking of Basketball. The LAKERS lost their 50th game of the season last week and are headed for a new record. Things are so bad in Los Angeles they don’t have cheerleaders anymore — “grief counselors.”
A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. I believe the study was conducted by BILL COSBY.
DICK CHENEY said in a Playboy interview this week that BARACK OBAMA is the worst President of his lifetime. Once again CHENEY proves, he never then and doesn’t now really consider GEORGE W. a President.
MITT ROMNEY announced he will fight former heavyweight champion EVANDER HOLYFIELD in a charity boxing match. I can just see the headlines the next day. “Mitt Romney Once Again Loses To A Black Guy.”
For those who haven’t heard, Washington State recently passed two laws. They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect Biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says: “If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.”