laughing reindeer laugh jokes

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Not counting the homeless, between Black Friday and Star Wars, last week Hollywood set the record for “Most Americans To Sleep On The Sidewalk.”

At the Republican debate held at the Venetian Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last week, DONALD TRUMP declared, “I expect to win Iowa.” How strange. Usually when TRUMP is around a hotel and casino the only thing he declares is bankruptcy.

The debate at the Venetian had nine candidates and due to a little mix-up, it was moderated by CELINE DION and a white tiger.

JEB is America’s fourth most liked BUSH. First there’s the father, GEORGE H. W. BUSH, then there’s GEORGE W. BUSH and then there’s the BAKED BEANS.

At a DONALD TRUMP rally last week, a supporter shouted out the Nazi salute,”Sieg Heil!” It took them 5 minutes to throw the guy out and 10 minutes to get TRUMP to put his arm down.

The forecast is that this could be one of the warmest Christmases in 30 years. Last Christmas, people left out milk and cookies for SANTA. This Christmas, people will leave out a deodorant stick, a cool wet towel and a red thong.

Last Christmas, SANTA made a list of who’s naughty or nice. This Christmas SANTA made a list of who has central air conditioning and who doesn’t.

Last Christmas, you went to an “ugly sweater party”. This Christmas you’re going to an “ugly, SWEATY party.”

A new study claims, the stress of being President takes three years off your life. Suddenly everyone is thinking about voting for TRUMP.

According to a survey, the most popular Christmas song of all time is “Silent Night.” The least popular? “I Saw Mommy Kissing BILL COSBY.”

From that same survey we also learn that the reindeer population is falling fast. We are just three years away from Santa using “Uber.”

Also, according to that same survey, 68 percent of all working adults will be giving something to a co-worker at this year’s Christmas parties. The good news is, it’s probably treatable.

In Florida, a 98-year-old man shot a hole-in-one. The 98-year-old was shocked. He thought he was playing tennis.