laughing10

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Our heart goes out to those in Texas who were devastated by the floods. At one time the rain was so bad people were buying HUNDRED gallon hats.

What flooding! I haven’t seen so much water since the Sump Pump broke in CHRIS CHRISTIE’S pants.

They should have known the flood was coming months ago when all the animals in the Houston Zoo started lining up two by two.

There was also a near flood in Beverly Hills. Two Evian trucks collided.

The Justice Department unsealed a 47-count indictment charging FIFA soccer officials with taking bribes. It took over four years to unearth this scandal. It just occurred to me, if it took those officials as long to score as it does the World Cup teams, they would never have had a scandal.

In the NFL, a scandal is found out and indicted the next day. But of course, it’s more difficult in soccer, they can’t use their hands.

We are now 10 weeks away from the first Republican Presidential debate. The debate will be held in a 300-seat theater, so there’ll be almost enough seats for all the candidates.

Former Senator RICK SANTORUM has entered the presidential race. When it was announced, the entire country gave him a rousing round of indifference.

The Republicans hope by the time we have the debates the field will begin narrowing — But not as much as SANTORUM’S mind.

SANTORUM hopes to do a lot better than he did in 2012. Back then his popularity ratings were a little behind CHARLES MANSON. That’s because he had an identity problem. People recognized him.

This week we celebrated MEMORIAL DAY with the world’s largest single day sporting event, the INDY 500. The excitement, the shrieks, the gasps, it’s like having speakers outside CHARLIE SHEEN’S bedroom.

What a spectacle. What skilled pitcrews. I haven’t seen tires come off a car that fast since I was double parked in Newark.

This year one of the drivers doing 215 miles an hour was disqualified. They caught him texting.

The government released hundreds of documents seized from Osama bin Laden’s compound. Among the items was a job application for al-Qaida. They knew it was for al-Qaida, one of the questions was, “Where do you see yourself exploding in the next five years?”