“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
Last weekend another guy jumped the fence at the White House. If you think there’s a lot of people trying to get into the White House now, just wait ’til 2016.
Congratulations to the Giants for winning the World Series. Back in San Francisco there were big parades with men dancing in the streets and taking their clothes off. Then they heard about the baseball game and things really went wild.
After they defeated the Kansas City Royals, but because of the recent Ebola scare, instead of spraying Champagne, the Giants slathered each other with hand sanitizer.
For Halloween, a woman in Vermont handed out kale to trick-or-treaters. That must have been a big hit with the kids. Forget about a house decorated with tons of toilet paper. Just look for the one that’s been burned down.
Sources are saying Russia may have hacked into the White House Internet System and stole all of MICHELLE OBAMA’S secret kale recipes — What they are going to do with Green Borscht I’ll never know.
Wherever ISIS forces have taken over, very strict Sharia Law is being upheld. For example; adultery is punishable by beheading. And for just sniffing around you can get be-NOSED.
The Forest Service reports that people are taking “Selfies” with bears and using them as their profile pictures on dating Apps. It works to everyone’s advantage. It will show the viewer how brave YOU are, or the bear gets to show what HE had for lunch.
The CEO of Apple, TIM COOK, announced he is gay. Not to be outdone, their arch rival immediately came out with the 50% gayer “Samsung Gay-laxy S6.”
Former major league player JOSE CANSECO accidentally shot his finger off while cleaning his gun. But not to worry. He’s taken so much human growth hormone that the finger grew right back.
Kellogg’s has reported a 31 percent drop in profits this quarter after sales of breakfast foods and snacks fell in the U.S. “Snap” and “Crackle” are still around, but “Pop” was seen signing up at the unemployment office.
QUEEN ELIZABETH recently sent her first “Tweet.” PRINCE CHARLES was heard to say, “Call me when she sends her LAST Tweet.”
LeBRON JAMES and his wife have just welcomed a new baby. No surprise. That’s what you get from all that “Slam dunking.”
This week we had “National Cat Day.” Of course, to cats every day is National Cat Day. Call a dog and he comes running all excited and slobbery. Call a cat and he just gives you that “look” and says, “I’ll get back to you.”
