Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
PRESIDENT OBAMA made a prime-time speech this week about how we’re going to deal with violent extremists and their sickening behavior. And when he was done talking about the NFL, he talked about getting tough with ISIS or ISIL or the “Islamic State” or whatever we decide to call them.
When he heard that RUSH LIMBAUGH liked his speech the PRESIDENT was heard saying, “Where did I go wrong?”
The PRESIDENT said the U.S. will lead a multinational coalition to fight terror groups in Iraq. Most people just turned off their telly. They thought it was a rerun.
The big news was the introduction of the new “APPLE iWATCH” which will cost about $349 and needs daily charging. I hate to say this, but it’s just like my DICK TRACY watch which I got by only sending in one single box top. And without recharging I could read a secret message, eat breakfast and listen to my cereal go “Snap, Crackle and Pop.”
Great Britain’s PRINCESS KATE and PRINCE WILLIAM are expecting a second baby. You can tell the baby’s a member of the royal family, the ultrasound showed the kid waving.
This weekend we celebrate the 200th anniversary of the writing of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” A bit of National Anthem trivia: When FRANCIS SCOTT KEY first brought it to his agent he was heard to say, “Somehow, Manny, it sounds better if you sing it while you’re standing.”
New Jersey GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE turned 52 years old this week. It was so exciting. At his birthday party he got just what he wanted — A cake jumped out of the cake.
Also this week in 1974, GERALD FORD pardoned RICHARD NIXON. At the ceremony NIXON made his famous statement, “I am not a crook — But keep your eye on SPIRO.”
The identity of “JACK THE RIPPER” has been revealed. They got his DNA off an old white Ford Bronco.
You remember “JACK THE RIPPER.” He’s the one of whom MOTHER TERESA once said, “I like a man who works with his hands.”
He’s the guy who’s mother said, “Jack, how come I never see you go out with the same girl twice?”
Well JACK, who killed five people in London, has been finally identified. After hearing about it, the commissioner of the NFL suspended him for two games.
Starbucks is planning to open about 100 new upscale coffee shops with more expensive coffee. Just what we need, more Starbucks and more expensive coffee. At least they’re doing what they do best, which is opening more Starbucks.
The New York Times had to issue a correction after it mistakenly referred to DICK CHENEY as a former President. To which GEORGE W. BUSH said, “Big deal. I made that same mistake all the time.”
