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“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

A forthcoming book by PETER SCHWEIZER, “Clinton Cash,” accuses the CLINTON’S of getting donations from foreign governments and businesses by using HILLARY’S influence as Secretary of State to help them become rich. Republicans have gone as far as trying to persuade Mattel to come out with a HILLARY and BILL doll. “You pull the string and it pulls strings.”

Author PETER SCHWEIZER has a history of wrong reporting marked by errors, retractions and questionable sources. For instance, in writing about GEORGE W. BUSH, he told how the former President did a great job wiping out the Viet Cong during his stint in the Texas National Guard. When someone pointed out that there were no Viet Cong in Texas SCHWEIZER replied, “Sure, now!

Another fence jumper was caught trying to get into the White House. Authorities aren’t releasing the fence jumper’s identity, but they did say that she tore a hole in her pantsuit.

Why are so many people suddenly trying to jump the fence to get into the White House? Why don’t they just find themselves a billionaire like Republican candidates are doing, receive a huge donation and get in legally — And with the Supreme Court’s blessing.

Once again former Texas GOV. RICK PERRY says he’ll be running for President. If you’d like to contact him I believe his website is WWW.FATCHANCE.COM

Gays were so incensed by HUCKABEE’s homophobic stance on Gay Marriage, when he stepped out of his limousine last week, he was the victim of a “drive-by-slapping.”

This time around Republican nominees say they’ll campaign almost entirely on the internet. Sorry to tell you this guys, but the polls say if the election were held today, based on what people were watching on the internet, you’d lose to BRUCE JENNER.

This week was “Earth Day.” I celebrated by taking a tree to lunch.

In a gesture of good faith, DONALD TRUMP announced he’s going to set his hair free and send it back into the wild.

“Earth Day” is a time when we can all do our part by recycling. And there’s a lot of recycling being done this year. For example: the BUSHes and the CLINTONs.

According to a new study each one of us, on the average, create about 15 pounds of garbage every week. Of course, that number goes up drastically during the summer when we go to buy a bathing suit, see our bodies in one of those three-way mirrors and try to dispose of it.

BMW’s new Deluxe 7 Series will allow drivers to simply press a button on their key fob to make the car park itself. But because it’s an expensive BMW it’ll only park itself in “the correct” neighborhood.

The city of San Francisco announced that on January 1st tobacco of any kind will be illegal. Finally we’ll be able to say, “No officer, this is not a Marlboro I’m smoking — It’s just a joint.”