Happy New Year 2012 Animated images

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:


New Jersey GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE revealed that a top aide shut down access to the George Washington Bridge causing a horrendous traffic tie up. CHRISTIE denied any personal involvement. He said, at the time he was too busy clogging his own artery.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ was suspended for all of this year’s baseball season when he tested positive for steroids. Not only that, but while he was dating MADONNA he also tested positive of Cialis, Viagra and Prozac.

GOV. JERRY BROWN declared California in a state of drought. Everything is so dry, home owners are hanging around Walgreens and Rite-Aid drug stores trying to hire “Depends” customers to sit in their garden.

PRESIDENT OBAMA gave his “State of the Union” speech where he urged Congress to raise the minimum wage. This is not to be confused with Congresses’ minimum wage, which means: Doing the “minimum” to earn their “wage.”

The Winter Olympics began in Sochi, Russia. When the Olympic torch arrived VLADIMIR PUTIN tried to put it out. With the new Russian anti-gay laws, he didn’t want anything in the city that was too flaming.

Russia invaded Crimea, but PUTIN said he has no plans to annex the territory. 80 year-olds all over Poland, Hungary and Czechoslovakia started singing “It Seems To Me I Heard That Song Before.”

More than 1200 people, half from out of Colorado, flocked to Denver’s first Marijuana-industry job fair. Admission was free, but they were able to rake in about $50,000 from the bake sale.

DONALD STERLING, owner of the L.A. Clippers, got caught on tape spewing vial racist hate to his mistress. The NBA has banned STERLING for life for his racist comments. If he has a problem with black people he should forget basketball and think about owning a hockey team.

BARBARA WALTERS retired after 50 years on the air. Yes, BARBARA has seen and done it all. From MONICA LEWINSKY’S thong to J. EDGAR HOOVER’S panty girdle.

VLADIMIR PUTIN ordered all Russian troops stationed near Ukraine to be pulled back to their home bases. It’s the first time PUTIN has pulled back anything since he did it to his stomach when he took his bare-chested photo.

Veterans Affairs Secretary SHINSEKI resigned because of a growing scandal. It seems there was such a long wait for our young veterans to get a medical appointment, by the time they saw a doctor they were eligible for Medicare.

The LOS ANGELES KINGS won their second Stanley Cup in three years. L.A. hockey fans were more excited than DONALD STERLING at a “White Sale.”

House Majority Leader ERIC CANTOR was unexpectedly defeated in the primary election. CANTOR spent $5 million and lost. What is wrong with this country when you can no longer buy an election?

The PRESIDENT is sending troops back to Iraq. How bad is it? PRESIDENT OBAMA phoned HILLARY and asked if she could start as President early.

Thousands of children from Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras are crossing our border looking for a safe home, prompting ANGELINA JOLIE to go down there. But when she heard there were 53,000 of them she assured husband, BRAD PITT, “Don’t worry. I’m just window shopping.”

Congratulations to Germany! They have now won 4 “World Cup” Soccer Championships. But they are still O for 2 in “World Wars.”

Riots in the streets of St. Louis and other cities over the shooting in Ferguson, Mo. – People along the border fighting about immigration – Congress suing the President. The Middle East just sent diplomats to negotiate peace in THIS country.

It was a sad year for comedy. JOAN RIVERS and ROBIN WILLIAMS passed away. He, the young genius who could make us laugh at everything. She, at 81 proving that age and being a woman have nothing to do with being funny. R.I.P.

A man scaled the White House fence and ran across the lawn to the front door. Secret Service Officials are wondering why it’s so easy to get in. PRESIDENT OBAMA is wondering why it’s so hard to get out.

KRIS KARDASHIAN JENNER officially filed for divorce from husband BRUCE JENNER. BRUCE says he’s putting on a brave face. His plastic surgeons are working on it as we speak.

VLADIMIR PUTIN was nominated but did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. Earlier today he said, “How many countries do I have to take over to win one lousy Peace Prize?”

Congratulations to the Giants for winning the World Series. Back in San Francisco there were big parades with men dancing in the streets and taking their clothes off. Then they heard about the baseball game and things really went wild.

What a year. DEREK JETER and GEORGE CLOONEY both stopped being players.

The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called “Operation Inherent Resolve.” It seems the name “Operation Off With Their Heads” was already taken.

Election Day has come and gone and the Republicans now have control of the Senate as well as the House. It looks like the Democrats have gone from “Lame Duck” to “Dead Duck.”

MITCH McCONNELL will become the new Senate Majority Leader and he’s so excited about his new power, he had to be reminded of its limitations. He will NOT be able to replace the POPE with PAT ROBERTSON.

PRESIDENT OBAMA and VLADIMIR PUTIN were both in China attending the same economic summit. OBAMA saw PUTIN and said, “After those midterm elections, it’s nice to finally see a friendly face.”

Time magazine has named “Ebola Fighters” their 2014 “Person Of The Year.” These are people who were on the front lines, working to keep Ebola contained. Time magazine said, “No need to pick up your award. We’ll mail it to you.

We ended 2014 with Sony Pictures being “hacked” and Cuba, after 50 years, getting a chance of getting out of “Hock.”