“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
Well it looks like MITT ROMNEY will throw his wallet back into the presidential ring. We hope he’s not as dull as he was last time around. In 2008 ROMNEY was so dull, when he made a stirring speech announcing he’s running, you could tell it was stirring, five people stirred.
So far its ROMNEY and HUCKABEE running. It looks like its going to be a contest of personalities. The winner gets one.
Days after ROMNEY announced he is considering a 2016 presidential campaign, his former running mate PAUL RYAN wouldn’t divulge who he’ll support, but he did say, “I just want the best man for the JEB…I mean job. job.”
PAUL RYAN announced that after a lot of thought, and talking it over with family and friends, he is not going to run for president in 2016, causing a giant wave of indifference to flood over the country.
Last Sunday was the Golden Globes. What a wonderful three-hour show. A half hour of “Thank yous” and two and a half hours of watching people trying to get to the stage. CHRIS CHRISTIE says he’s not taking the rap for THIS slow down.
JENNIFER almost didn’t get to the Golden Globe affair. She looked in her closet and she HAD something to wear.
This was a big week in Hollywood. The 87th Academy Awards nominations were also announced. The nominees called it an honor and a privilege. MERYL STREEP called it “Thursday morning.”
A lot of people were upset because this year’s Oscar nomination pool is the least diverse collection of nominees since 1998. In fact, there are so many white nominees Fox News agreed to take over hosting the show.
People were also very upset that “The Lego Movie” didn’t get nominated. Not because it was such a good film, but with all those Lego pieces in all those different colors, it would a nice change from all that white of the other nominees.
The movie “The Theory of Everything” was nominated for five awards. Who can forget the scene where STEPHEN HAWKING divorces his wife. She gets the house, the car and the bank account. STEPHEN got custody of the rest of the universe.
Baseball’s Hall of Fame had its selections for players who are voted in. Once again PETE ROSE did not get in, but he’s already taking bets for next year.
A woman in Las Vegas had a 175 pound growth removed from her body. The tumor was in the shape of BILL COSBY. Turns out it WAS BILL COSBY.
“Whitney,” a biopic of singer WHITNEY HOUSTON premiered on Lifetime this weekend. In an exciting scene, WHITNEY (played by ANGELA BASSETT) is stopped at an airport for possession of a half ounce of cocaine. Authorities suspected something when she landed two hours before the plane.
