“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
“Super Tuesday” was this week and DONALD TRUMP won seven states. “Super Tuesday” was followed by “Holy Shit, Trump Won Everything,” Wednesday!
It was a critical primary for the Republican Party. The seven states were shock, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression, and Alabama.
At a rally in Georgia, TRUMP was endorsed by several prominent NASCAR drivers. With the NASCAR endorsement, DONALD TRUMP has locked up the coveted “Guy You Wish Your Sister Would Break Up With” vote.
CHRIS CHRISTIE also endorsed TRUMP. This was after he left the race himself. Not because of his low ratings or poor acceptance by voters. He pulled out when he heard the White House was over a mile away from the nearest McDonald’s.
Saudi Arabia said that a TRUMP presidency would “Set the world back centuries.” The Saudi’s then added, “Which is why TRUMP has our full support.”
MARCO RUBIO won his first state with a victory in the Minnesota primary. It was such a big night, RUBIO’S parents let him stay up and watch the returns come in.
TED CRUZ says he’s the only true conservative running and to prove it he’s putting out this new CD with conservative songs for conservative voters. Songs like:
“If They Ask Me I Could Burn A Book”
“Help Me Make It To The Right”
“South Of The Border, I’ll Keep Them Away”
and a little ditty dedicated to the Gun Lobby:
“No, No, They Can’t Take That Away From Me”
Analysts say HILLARY CLINTON’S plan to defeat DONALD TRUMP involves painting him as “dangerous and bigoted.” She plans on doing this by using the famous ADLAI STEVENSON quote. “If you stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about you.”
During her victory rally after her winning Tuesday, one of the things HILLARY said was that she wants to build a “ladder of opportunity.” To which people in Mexico said, “Great, we’ll use it to climb over that other guy’s dumb wall.”
This year June 20th will be the longest day of the year. That is if you don’t count the ACADEMY AWARDS.
The AWARDS show was almost 4 hours long. Do you realize the OSCARS lasted longer than most Hollywood marriages.
As always, the most touching moment of the night was when they did the yearly “Memorial Tribute” to those stars who have gone to a better place — The Turner Classic Movie Channel.
The film SPOTLIGHT won “Best Picture” award. It was about the Boston Globe’s uncovering of Catholic Priest’s sexual abuse scandals. Once again proving the biblical aphorism, “Thy shall not show thy rod to thy staff.”
