Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
DONALD TRUMP’S 2005 tax return was shown on the RACHEL MADDOW show and the White House says it’s totally illegal to steal and publish tax returns. They said the documents should be released the proper way; by having a Russian hacker give them to WikiLeaks.
This week was the big finale of ABC’s “The Bachelor” and NICK wound up getting engaged to VANESSA, a teacher from Canada. NICK didn’t plan on marrying her, but after seeing the GOP Healthcare Plan, moving to Canada may not be such a bad idea.
“March Madness” began this week. PRESIDENT TRUMP released his new budget.
Actually, I’m talking about basketball “March Madness” where 64 teams compete until they are whittled down and only two teams remain. Then those two teams will get married and like NICK and VANESSA move to Canada.
Surprisingly, “March Madness” isn’t that big a deal with our PRESIDENT. Maybe it’s because he’ll have April madness, May madness… and it’ll go on right to the end of his term.
The first blizzard of 2017 hit and the entire NorthEast was knee high in snow. Now that Obamacare is getting repealed, it’s nice to know something will be still covering half the country.
New York was supposed to get up to two feet of snow, but it turned to sleet early and became cold, blustery and right in your face. So much so, the Weather Bureau changed its name from Winter Storm “Stella” to “Kellyanne Conway.”
The blizzard also hit Washington, D.C. You know it’s cold outside when PRESIDENT TRUMP, while signing his Immigration Executive Order, had to wrap himself in TWO American flags.
Press Secretary, SEAN SPICER, said that PRESIDENT TRUMP didn’t literally mean that PRESIDENT OBAMA wiretapped him. He also said DONALD TRUMP didn’t literally mean for people to vote for him either, but that’s the way it went.
This week PRESIDENT TRUMP met with a SAUDI prince. The man born into immense wealth with multiple wives and an exotic head covering said he couldn’t wait to meet the SAUDI prince.
White House strategist STEVE BANNON is under criminal investigation for voter fraud. It seems he voted last year in Florida while technically he’s still a resident of 1930’s Germany.
Last week was St. Patrick’s Day. A day immortalized by the timeless words of the greatest Irishman of them all, BARRY FITZGERALD, who said, “Quick, call a doctor! Sure-in I’ve got a rash on my begorrah!”
To commemorate the day “Starbucks” introduced a NEW Irish coffee. It’s not perked, dripped or ground. It’s smashed.
It’s not true that celebrants spend all of St. Patrick’s day in a bar drinking. They spend at least 6 hours in the street — just lying there.
It’s also Spring Break time. That’s when thousands of students will be heading to beaches and resorts to drink, do drugs and have sex. Then they’ll return to school and it’s back to the same old grind – To drink, do drugs and have sex.
It’s the only time of the year in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida when condoms out sell “Depends.”
If you are away on Spring Break, have fun, do whatever you need to do. Don’t forget Congress is about to take away your Healthcare, so if you’re going to do something dumb, do it now while it’s still covered.