“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
TRUMP is accusing TED CRUZ of “lying.” CRUZ is accusing TRUMP of “lying,” and MARCO RUBIO is accusing EVERYONE of “lying.” With all the reality shows on the schedule, I guess if you want to watch fiction on TV you’ll have to watch the Republican debates.
When asked about DONALD TRUMP, POPE FRANCIS said that people who build walls are not Christians. DONALD fired back with, “Of course I’m a Christian. Do you know how many carpenters named JESUS I have working for me?”
Although BERNIE SANDERS is robust and energetic he IS 74 years old and some people are having second thoughts. If he is nominated, would he be up to the job of president? Concern about BERNIE’S age began months ago when he walked into the Congressional cafeteria, ordered 3-minute eggs and the waitress wanted the money in advance.
I say age has nothing to do with it. So what if BERNIE’S first job was as a “Used Ark Salesman?”
Who cares if his favorite TV game show was “Let’s Make A Wheel?”
Whose business is it that when he first saw PETER,PAUL & MARY, they were in Bethlehem?
Is it our business that as a young man his idea of “fast food” was an antelope?
Or when he was young he bought his first suit at a discount men’s shop – “Manny of Mesopotamia?”
Let’s leave the guy alone, for Chrissake — who, by the way, he knew personally. They went to the same synagogue.
BEN CARSON says he’s going to make more use of the Internet to help his run for the nomination. I believe his website is — WWW.FatChance.Com.
KENDALL and KYLIE JENNER released a new iPhone app that lets you enter their glamorous and exciting world. But beware! Once you download this app, your phone is no longer a smartphone.
The 140th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show’s “Best In Show” was a “German shorthaired pointer.” As opposed to BEETHOVEN, BRAHMS and BACH who were “German Longhairs.”
Last week was Ash Wednesday and all over the country people were giving up things for Lent. I just found a moth in my closet that is really into it. He’s giving up lint for Lent.
That is very weird and I don’t know why your avi is on my response. While I’m typing this, I just see a blank head, so maybe because I don’t have a pic as my avi, it defaults to your face? You’re better looking than me, so I will take it. But to clarify, I did not take, nor am I using your Avi. Ask Freebird. I see her on another blog regularly.
Lastly, I loved the joke and thought it was hilarious when I heard it late last week. So when I read it on your blog, I thought I would share that I also heard it on Fallon. I’m not sure how comedy writing works, so I wasn’t sure if Fallon picked it up from your FIL or not. I understand your point #1 and assumed it was presented based on point #2.
Regardless, I loved ALL of the jokes. Such a gift to make someone laugh in 1-2 sentences! 🙂
Oh maybe b/c you have the blank head, you could be right! No idea. : ) I didn’t think you took mine, hope you didn’t think that’s what I was saying. I just happened to notice it.
And yes, the ability to write jokes is a gift. Writing good ones is a bigger one : )
Did I hear Jimmy Fallon do the “When asked about DONALD TRUMP, POPE FRANCIS said that people who build walls are not Christians. DONALD fired back with, “Of course I’m a Christian. Do you know how many carpenters named JESUS I have working for me” joke? I thought I saw a teaser about how the late night guys went after Trump and the Pope comments and this joke was in the medley of “hits”.
First, why is my avi on your comment? : ) But to answer that, could be a couple of things. 1 is that comedians can come up with the same lines. It happens all the time. 2 is that my FIL provides a “gags” news letter, so maybe someone saw the joke. Who knows? It’s funny no matter who tells it.
Love it!! Funny Father-in-Law!
Thanks Freebird! He’s even funnier in person. : )
He sounds so cool GL! I look forward to reading.