“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
The Pentagon just announced that its fight against ISIS will be called “Operation Inherent Resolve.” It seems the name “Operation Off With Their Heads” was already taken.
The Pentagon picked “Operation Inherent Resolve” because they figured, if they can’t get rid of ISIS, at least with the word “Resolve” in the name they can get rid of the stains in the carpet.
VLADIMIR PUTIN was nominated but did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. Earlier today he said, “How many countries do I have to take over to win a lousy Peace Prize?”
All NFL teams have received a newsletter informing them about the dangers of EBOLA. The way they’ve been playing lately, I wouldn’t worry about the RAIDERS catching anything.
North Korean Dictator KIM JONG UN is back. He’s been missing. No one has seen him for over 40 days. It was like he had his own sitcom on NBC.
In his first public appearance in over a month, KIM has put on weight and he’s carrying a cane. The Dictator is just a top hat and a monocle away from being MR. PEANUT.
When he came out from where he was hiding he took one look at his shadow and immediately signed up with JENNY CRAIG.
KIM’S coming out also means 6 more years of nuclear winter.
The most rat-infested cities in the United States are Chicago followed by Los Angeles, Washington and New York. New York is 4th because there, if you can get a rat to pitch in on the rent you can call him a roommate.
It was ranked fourth also because when rats grow old in New York they retire to Florida.
It’s hard to believe there are more rats in Los Angeles than they have in New York City. But I guess LA is so focused on taking care of the KARDASHIAN Infestation they forgot about the rats.
HULK HOGAN says he’s going to wrestle again. He hasn’t wrestled in years, that is if you don’t count that sex tape.
HOGAN is 61 years old. That’s pretty old for a professional wrestler. He’s such an old wrestler, he has trouble getting his opponent down on the mat and getting himself down a flight of stairs.
He’s so old, when he gets knocked down, he looks around to see if there’s anything else he can do as long as he’s down there.
BRAD PITT said in an interview last week that he doesn’t feel safe in his own home without a gun. And that’s just from all those kids alone.
According to Forbes Magazine, the richest famous dead person is MICHAEL JACKSON, who earned $140 million this year. You have to admire MICHAEL’S work ethic. A lot of big stars stop working when they die.
