laff sign laugh jokes

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Because of the Sony hacking and the canceling of their film “The Interview,” relations between the U.S. and North Korea are so fragile, the entire cast of M*A*S*H has been put on full alert.

The hackers leaked Sony’s upcoming script for the new JAMES BOND movie. Executives said the news left them shaken but not stirred.

MITT ROMNEY suggested the film should be released online for free. DONALD TRUMP said the studio has no courage or guts. CHRIS CHRISTIE said, “I don’t care what they do. I’m having a large bucket of popcorn.”

After 50 years PRESIDENT OBAMA announced our normalization of relations with Cuba. It will begin with the opening of a U.S. Embassy in Havana. This will be followed by an even more important step. A national holiday will be proclaimed on DESI ARNAZ’S birthday.

We’ve tried to resume a relationship with Cuba before, but politically it didn’t work out. To put the last 50 years in proper perspective. “Close but no cigar.”

Seizing upon an issue that could become the cornerstone of a possible 2016 Presidential campaign, SEN. MARCO RUBIO, by fighting against a renewed relationship with Cuba, feels it would help him sweep into the White House — winning all 13 colonies.

BARBARA WALTERS revealed her list of “The Most Fascinating People Of 2014” which include CHELSEA HANDLER and MICHAEL STRHAN. In a related story, BARBARA was just named one of “The Most Easily Fascinated People Of 2014.”

The PRESIDENT is planning to spend the holiday in traditional Yuletide fashion — “Roasting Republicans on an open fire.”

There will be no Nativity Scene this year. Because of the housing boom the manger went condo.

New York has gone all out for its holiday celebration. Yesterday a taxi driver was spotted with tinsel on his middle finger.

The world’s largest travel guide publisher has declared Queens, New York, the best place in the U.S. to visit next year. And if you don’t believe it, neither does anyone who lives in Queens.

This week KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN gave birth to her third child. So she now holds the record for the most times a KARDASHIAN has experienced labor.

Because of severe weather in Washington D.C. several government buildings were left without power. Of course, the White House will be without power for two more years.

This week was the beginning of the Jewish celebration of Hanukkah. Hanukkah lasts for eight nights unlike Christmas which lasts for two and a half months.

When I lived in New York we didn’t have a Hanukkah Menorah (A nine-branched candelabrum lit during the eight-day holiday) in our apartment. We didn’t have to. There was a “Master Menorah” on the roof.

CHRISTMAS EVE: It’s the night before Christmas and a time for gift giving. It’s when “good little girls” get toys and clothes. And “BAD little girls” get book contracts, deals with the National Enquirer and a guest appearance on the MAURY POVICH show.