Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
It’s rumored that MELANIA TRUMP has decided NOT to live in the White House at all. The PRESIDENT is certainly keeping his campaign promises. He’s keeping immigrants away left and right.
At Dulles Airport, a 5-year-old Iranian boy was detained for hours and kept from his mother. Or as KELLYANNE CONWAY calls it, “alternative daycare.”
Senate Minority Leader, CHUCK SCHUMER, got so emotional while protesting the travel ban, TRUMP accused him of fake crying. Then MELANIA jumped in to say, “Trust me, he doesn’t know when someone is faking it.”
PRESIDENT TRUMP met with executives from the pharmaceutical industry, and they once again explained to him that there’s no such thing as “Viagra” for your hands.
TRUMP says he wants to speed up the FDA’s drug approval process. I totally agree. With what TRUMP’S got planned, America’s going to need all the drugs it can get.
Speaking of drugs, thirty-one pounds of cocaine were found hidden in the nose of an American Airlines jet (no pun intended). Authorities became suspicious when the plane flew from Miami to New York in 16 minutes.
Adviser, KELLYANNE CONWAY, compared DONALD TRUMP to JESUS. Two guys who started out by inheriting their father’s business.
TRUMP spoke with VLADIMIR PUTIN over the phone last week for about an hour. PUTIN wanted to know if TRUMP liked the gift he got him. DONALD told him, yes, he was enjoying the Presidency very much.
You know how over four or eight years, the President’s hair turns gray? Well, get ready folks, during TRUMP’S administration, instead of him, that’s going to happen to all of us.
Thursday was “Groundhog Day” and the COUNTRY took the opportunity to call “Punxsutawney Phil” and asked him the big question: How did he get out of his hole so easily?
Today will be SUPER BOWL 51 and a new poll finds that the majority of Americans want the Atlanta Falcons to win. But lately we’ve learned that it doesn’t really matter what the majority of Americans want.
Keeping that in mind, I predict Atlanta will score the most touchdowns, but the New England Patriots will get the most electoral points and win the game.
Also, at the halftime Show, LADY GAGA will have a “wardrobe malfunction” and end up fully clothed.