“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
DONALD TRUMP has called for a ban on Muslims entering the United States. You know it’s bad when DICK CHENEY steps in to say, “Come on, have a heart.”
CHENEY said TRUMP’S comments go against everything America stands for. In other words, he’s got CHENEY’S full support.
In fact, the only reason we should ever allow ANYONE to come here from ANY foreign country is to marry TRUMP.
TRUMP said he would NOT put Muslims in internment camps. He would, however, let them all stay at his luxurious new “Trump Hotel and Internment Resort.”
Time Magazine has officially declared their “Person of the Year” is German Chancellor ANGELA MERKEL. DONALD TRUMP tweeted, “They would never pick me. They picked the person who is ruining Germany.” I don’t think he wants to go on record saying, “I liked the old Germany better!”
A new report claims ISIS has been using American weapons in their fight against the United States. These weapons include tanks, rifles, rockets and DONALD TRUMP.
DONALD has canceled a planned trip to Israel. When asked why, TRUMP said, “They already have a wall and a fear of Muslims. My work there is done.”
In a recent poll, JEB BUSH has fallen to just 3. Not percent — people.
His numbers continue to drop. but JEB says this isn’t the time to panic. The time to panic was five months ago.
MARCO RUBIO said in a new interview that his favorite show is “The Walking Dead.” When asked why, RUBIO said, “I’m a Senator from Florida. These are my people.”
The “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” this week on CBS will be investigated by the FCC for violating decency regulations. “Never before has so little covered so much on so foxy.”
The Fashion Show featured models from Brazil, Sweden, and Portugal. Or as DONALD TRUMP put it, “I’ve changed my mind about immigrants.”
It’s Christmas in Beverly Hills. “On Dancer, On Prancer, On Visa, On Mastercard.”
You know it’s Christmas in Beverly Hills when SAKS FIFTH AVENUE’S Handicapped Parking is for people earning under two hundred thousand a year.
BARNEY’S is so classy, they wouldn’t let Santa Claus in the store unless he shaved.
Santa loves Beverly Hills this time of the year. It’s the only town in the world where he can get “Valet Parking” for his sleigh.
Let us all celebrate FRANK SINATRA’S 100th Birth Anniversary. Born on December 12th 1915, he was one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century. DEAN MARTIN and SAMMY DAVIS JR. – part of the famous “Rat Pack – were his very best friends. There was nothing “Old Blue Eyes” liked better than spending his birthday with “Old RED Eyes” and “Old ONE Eye.”
