laughing sticks

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

DONALD TRUMP said Arizona Senator JOHN McCAIN, who spent 5 1/2 years being tortured in a Vietnamese prison camp, is not in his estimation a war hero. This from a man whose greatest war-time accomplishment was brokering a peace treaty on “Celebrity Apprentice” — between GARY BUSEY and MEAT LOAF.

The closest TRUMP ever got to battle was his fight with ROSIE O’DONNELL.

RICK PERRY said DONALD TRUMP is unfit to be President and that he’s a toxic mix of demagoguery, nonsense and a third thing he can’t seem to remember. “I can never remember the third thing.”

RICK PERRY believes Boy Scouts would be “better off if they didn’t have openly gay scoutmasters.” Between the Boy Scouts and gay marriage, Republicans really don’t want gays tying any kind of knot.

The FEC released DONALD TRUMP’S financial disclosure and it revealed that he received royalties of less than $200 for most of his books. Maybe it’s because of his ego. His last book was titled, “Why I Believe In God And Visa Versa.”

TRUMP is writing a new book about how a politician can remain true to his ideals despite the temptation for political gain. I believe It’s his first attempt at science fiction.

A major Iowa newspaper published an op-ed against TRUMP calling him a “self-absorbed, wholly unqualified feckless blowhard.” To which TRUMP answered. “I happen to have as much “feck” as anyone. I’m very rich and can buy all the “feck” I want.”

SCOTT WALKER announced he’s running for President. One of his big themes for his campaign is: “We need to elect a Republican who will clean up the mess in Washington.” I think that’s a great lesson for kids – Always clean up your own mess.

A former Iowa lottery official was found guilty of rigging a computerized “Hot Lotto” game so he could win a $14 million jackpot. He now faces up to 5, 12, 14, 20, or 25 years in prison.

JEB BUSH, in all his wisdom, said last week that if people want more income they should work longer hours. Being on the job night and day just isn’t enough. And that they aren’t managing their money wisely. They’re pissing it away on such frivolous things as gasoline, food, clothing and shelter.

With the price of gas going up again, station owners like Exxon-Mobil and Shell are looking for ways to make it easier for customers to pay for their gasoline. Across the nation they’re converting all their mini-marts into pawn shops.

SARAH PALIN’S daughter, BRISTOL, announced she was pregnant with her second child. She is now being very careful crossing the street. She realized you can also get “knocked DOWN.”