“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
According to a new poll, 55 percent of Americans do not trust that Iran will abide by the terms of the nuclear deal. It’s the same 55 percent who are running for the Republican nomination.
Even with this new treaty we are still concerned about Pakistan having a weapon of mass destruction. Not the bomb. Taxi drivers in New York cabs.
Now that some economic sanctions are being lifted, Iranian citizens are clamoring for Western products like iPhones. We should send them as many iPhones as they want. They’ll be so busy “Tweeting” and “Texting” they’ll never get any work done on a nuclear weapon.
The controversial remarks DONALD TRUMP made since he began his Presidential campaign have cost his brand as much as 80 million dollars. You can tell things are rough for DONALD. He was seen in a supermarket buying “Caviar Helper.”
Mexico’s number one drug lord, “EL CHAPO,” has escaped from prison and may be headed to the U.S. So TRUMP was wrong. They ARE sending us their best and brightest.
NBC is reportedly in talks with comedian GEORGE LOPEZ to take over as host of “Celebrity Apprentice.” DONALD TRUMP’S greatest nightmare is coming true. A Hispanic guy is taking over his job.
POPE FRANCIS wrapped up a 12 day tour of South America. Many Cubans were disappointed that he didn’t visit their country. They don’t expect miracles from the POPE. They would have been happy if he just gave their ’54 Chevy’s a “jump start” from the POPE-MOBILE.
PRESIDENT OBAMA said that education is the key to reducing the prison population. Though apparently a tunnel and power tools also work.
The Emmy nominations are out and for “Best Actor” there’s KEVIN SPACEY for “House of Cards,” JON HAMM for “Mad Men,” LIEV SCHREIBER for “Ray Donovan” and DONALD TRUMP for saying, “If I get elected President, I will bring us back, bigger and better than ever.”
According to an AMA study, deaths from prescription medicine errors in the U.S. rose 260 Percent in 10 years. A startling 73 percent of the victims suffered fatal heart attacks while trying to open a “child-proof” cap.
What with JIMMY FALLON, JIMMY KIMMEL, CONAN O’BRIEN and JON STEWART on TV from 11PM to 12:30PM, most husbands are now 5th in their wife’s choice of late night entertainment.
The three surviving members of the “Grateful Dead” are planning a reunion tour this summer. They were going to ask KEITH RICHARDS to play with them, but realized that JERRY GARCIA’S body TODAY is in better shape that KEITH’S.
CAITLYN JENNER was given the “Arthur Ashe Award For Courage” at the ESPY Awards. CAITLYN received the award for spending 24 years married TO and living WITH the KARDASHIANS.
IPhone users are reporting that SIRI will correct them if they try to say BRUCE JENNER instead of CAITLYN. In a related story, SIRI is now also asking to be addressed as STEVE.
