“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
This week DONALD TRUMP announced he’s running for President. That makes 15 Republicans and 5 Democrats so far, all trying to get you to vote for them. The GOOD NEWS: In just 17 months the debates, the speeches, the fund raising, the pundits and the bitter, nasty, vitriolic name-calling between the Republicans and the Democratic candidates will be over. The BAD NEWS: In November of 2016 one of these clowns will be elected President.
After TRUMP’S remarks about Mexico caused such a stir in the Republican party, DONALD may have to run as an Independent. The last time there was so much interest in a Republican switching sides was in an airport men’s room.
The latest poll shows that BUSH and TRUMP are in a dead heat. BUSH is dead and TRUMP is in heat.
TRUMP just recently turned 69. Before he could be asked if he was over the hill, he bought the damn thing.
HILLARY CLINTON is happy about the Supreme Court’s ruling on same-sex marriage. She says she supports marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both the husband and the wife should get to be President.
The state of Oregon became the fourth state to legalize recreational marijuana. People flocked to Portland for their first legal pot-party. Admission was free, but they were able to rake in about $75,000 from the sale of Hostess Cupcakes, Twinkies, HoHo’s and Ding Dongs.
The Confederate Flag has come down from South Carolina’s Capitol building and is now in a Confederate museum better known as a “Redneck Shop.” Now we can look forward to their familiar announcements on the public address system. “Attention K-K-K-Mart shoppers!”
I found a box of Wheaties with a picture of Olympic Gold medalist BRUCE JENNER on it. It’s either an old box or a new “Breakfast Of Champions” with testosterone.
Pamplona, Spain has once again hosted their annual “Running of the Bulls.” It happens every year on St. Dufus Day.
What a sight! Poor, dumb, stupid creatures running wildly through the streets – being chased by bulls.
Who can forget last year when the streets were madly hectic, filled with crowds of men jumping on the bulls as they wildly crashed down the avenidas past the “Frozen testosterone gelato stands.”
It’s VACATION TIME; You’re in “Europe Heaven” when the English greet you – the French cook for you – the Italians entertain you – and the Germans organize the whole thing.
You’re in “Europe Hell” when the French greet you – the English cook for you – the Germans entertain you – and the Italians organize it.
KIM KARDASHIAN announced she’s expecting baby number two. And we were worried there was going to be a shortage of KARDASHIANS.