laughing11

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Last week JEB BUSH walked back his position on Iraq. First he said, “I would have gone into Iraq.” Then changed his position saying, “Knowing what I know now, I would NOT have engaged.” If he gets a chance to run, JEB could lose in states like Michigan, Illinois and Ohio. But like brother GEORGE W., he would be far ahead in the states of confusion, denial and disbelief.

HILLARY CLINTON’S younger brother TONY is being criticized for using the CLINTONS’ political connections to help his career. This could damage HILLARY’S campaign. It was then that JEB BUSH said, “I think we should both get a pass on who our brothers are.”

TOM BRADY was suspended for four games as a result of “deflate-gate.” It will be the most time he’s spent sitting on the bench since he went shopping with his wife, waiting for her to get out of the dressing room.

MITT ROMNEY had a boxing match with EVANDER HOLYFIELD. I won’t say he was over-matched, but if MITT ever thought of running, this was the time.

According to a new report, since he’s been Governor, CHRIS CHRISTIE has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at Met Life Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, “You guys want anything?”

It was so warm in New York City last week, TOM BRADY was brought in to deflate footballs –just for the breeze.

McDonald’s is starting to introduce kale into their salads. McDonald’s customers heard this and asked, “What’s kale?” Then asked, “What’s a salad?”

The price of gasoline has once again gone up to $4.00 a gallon causing some people to change their driving habits:

–Street gangs, to save money, are restricting themselves to only “Jog-by shootings.”

–During a high-speed chase on an LA Freeway, the cops and the crooks were in the same car.

–Some station owners feel so terrible about the sudden rise in prices, out of guilt, they are cleaning their restrooms.

It’s not only at the pumps that gas prices are skyrocketing. Now even my Uncle Murray charges $2.00 every time you pull his finger.

One of PABLO PICASSO’S later paintings in his series, “Les Femmes D’Alger” (“Women of Algiers”), has sold for the record breaking price of $179.4 million. In was not from his “Blue Period,” or his “Rose Period,” but from my personal favorite, his “Woman With 6 Hooters Period.”

A 94-year-old man is graduating from West Virginia University. Just imagine how awkward it’s going to be for the commencement speaker when he says, “You have your whole life ahead of you,” then looks at the 94-year-old and says, “Well, at least the next ten minutes.”