laughing hyena

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

HILLARY CLINTON has been the First Lady, a Senator, the Secretary of State and last week she made the big announcement we all knew was coming. She’s going to play Cassie in the National company of “A Chorus Line.”

No! Actually, HILLARY announced she’s running for President and then drove from New York to Iowa in a van. It’s been called the least-exciting “spring break” trip in history.

On her way to Iowa HILLARY popped into a “Chipotle Mexican Grill” and ordered a bean burrito with chips and HOT salsa. So it looks like she locked down not only the Hispanic vote, but the “Maalox” vote.

HILLARY’S trying to look “Down-home.” When she got to Iowa she was seen sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.

MARCO RUBIO also announced he’s running for President, declaring that he is the best person to lead the United States into a “New American century.” He’s against abortion of any kind, he’s against better relations with Cuba, he doesn’t believe there is global warming and he STILL thinks he can win all 13 Colonies.

HILLARY is concerned about “Global Warming” and that industrial companies are going to have to find cleaner sources of fuel. She said, “Burning oil, coal and your old IRS records are just not making it.”

GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE says if he’s President, he will crack down on the sale of marijuana. However, that was before he was told it also comes in a brownie.

Trying to explain accusations that he lied in his books, BILL O’REILLY cannot stop coming up with one lame excuse after another. “Will someone tell BILL, he has the right to remain silent!”

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103 and says she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college.

April 15th was Tax day so I went to H & R BLOCK and now I’m in H & R HOCK.