Live and learn. I try to do both.

Jay! Tomlinson of Best of the Left reached out to me yesterday with a very nice email, explaining that he experienced similar problems a few years ago when he ventured into the topics he had previously not concerned himself with like race, gender or any of the myriad of subjects I talk about on a daily basis here.

He allowed himself to be educated. Apparently, I’m not willing to do the same.

I invited Jay on my show this morning with a very open mind and willingness to hear everything he had to say. And I did. And there was a lot of common ground.

I consider other people’s feelings in everything I do. I’m very sensitive to feelings, and would hope that others would be sensitive to mine.

But I invited Jay on my show this morning with only good intentions, while his Best of the Left partner, Katie Klabusich, live tweeted it. (No, I wasn’t told that was happening in advance.) Katie has been on my show twice. She told me she loved doing my show, and was happy to come back any time. So, I was a bit surprised by this today.

Katie bitch

And then there was her admission that this whole thing was all a set-up.

When I introduced Jay!, I read some of the kind, understanding email he sent me yesterday. But thanks to Ms. Klabusich, I’ve been enlightened as to its real purpose:

The style he uses with conservatives. Good to know. I tried to explain the genesis of the disagreement between myself and Elon; it began during my show on Monday as Julianna Forlano was on with me and we were talking about the Oscars. While on the topic of Patricia Arquette’s statement, I saw a Tweet from him decrying her statement, and invoking the term “erased intersection”. After asking him what that was, his response was


I committed the ultimate sin of asking him what he was talking about, adding after that I was surprised at his reaction (oh that went over well, or not). How dare I ask him what “erased intersection” meant?  And when Julianna decided to try to get clarification, she was told to “ask White Women.” 


Yeah, that’s helpful. What I didn’t understand was that it’s not PoC’s job to inform us white people.  No, it’s not anyone’s job. But if someone asks me about something I’m actively talking about (or tweeting about) and I know that person is asking an honest question, I’ll at least point them in the right direction, not chastise them for admitting they didn’t know about it already. But oops, that makes me defensive.  

I learned after the show ended that Elon apparently attempted to call in this morning. I won’t fault him for not knowing that I don’t usually take calls and that when I do say I’ll try to set aside some time for calls, I don’t always get there. In his book, that makes me a liar.

Yes, a fun, informative morning all around. I did speak with Jay! but, sadly, I didn’t learn my lessons to their satisfaction. Judge for yourself. There’s plenty of judgement going on about me so feel free to join in.

In the second hour, it was our bi-weekly gathering of the Gliberal Goddesses®, when GottaLaff, She’s History‘s Amy Simon and I usually have fun. There wasn’t much glibness today, but instead I asked Amy to put on her cultural herstorian hat and give us a bit of background into the history of the abolition, suffragist and feminist movements in America.  And to that, we got this

But that came after this

Well, you heard wrong, you sanctimonious bitch. (That’s the plain English I’m talking about. No gray area regarding what it means, and I don’t have to tell anyone to ask a “white woman” to explain it to you.) Keep coming at me. Don’t start holding back now.

Oops, sorry, there I go, getting all defensive again.

Not everything yesterday was all negative. TBogg at Raw Story actually wrote a post coming from a point of view similar to mine, entitled “Patricia Arquette gave activists a gift horse and they promptly shot it in the face.”  Please click the link and read it. 

Because many people don’t read comments, I wanted to bring one of them to your attention, not only because the writer comes to my defense (there’s that defensive thing again, damn it), but because she says what I’ve been trying to say, only much more eloquently.

Hear, hear,TBogg.
And can we please find another term to replace the ridiculous, sharp-and-jabby neologism “intersectionality”? It is superfluous and has caused more rifts, and more divisiveness, than just about any other issue that affects women. All of us exist at various intersections (mine are: white, middle-aged, near-broke, under-employed and only-recently-insured heterosexual Socialist immigrant). I don’t expect each of those to be acknowledged every time I’m referred to. Moreover, I seriously doubt Ms. Arquette, who has spent her 40+ years working in film, raising a family, and doing good, heartbreakingly difficult work in Haiti and beyond, has ever been assaulted by the phrase “Patricia Arquette’s Intersectionality FAIL!” before. How f*cking embarrassing. How f*cking rude. Fewer millennial buzzwords and more action, people: I’ve marched for abortion rights; I’ve stood outside my congressman’s office for hours, waiting to speak to him about bringing healthcare to all Floridians. I’ve fundraised; I’ve protested against police brutality against Latino and black teens; I’ve put my damned feet and meager purse where my mouth is. Other friends in my age group have actually been arrested for protesting the closure of women’s clinics and marching outside the White House, demanding the release of Chelsea Manning.

As a feminist, I always understood the word “women” to automatically include old women, young women; fat and thin women; black, white, Asian, Latina and Native American women; lesbian women; transgender women; rich, poor, and middle-income women. In other words, if you are a woman, Patricia Arquette cares about equal pay and equal treatment for you, and she used her very large platform and very public handful of moments during one of the most emotionally fraught times of her life, to advocate for us all. Similarly, Nicole Sandler has always used her platform, Radio or Not, to advocate not just for women but also for all the “intersecting” segments of society that the conservative majority in our state of Florida would just as soon have fade away and/or die: the poor; people without health insurance; the struggling unemployed; undocumented immigrants; African Americans being unfairly targeted and brutalized by cops, and on and on.

I’d venture a guess that neither woman expects a cookie for what she has done and will continue to do. But I’m sure they’d appreciate being extended the benefit of the doubt from time to time.

I’ll be back tomorrow, talking about a victory for our side (yeah us!) on Net Neutrality with the always awesome and non-judgmental Tim Karr of FreePress.net, who should be out celebrating tonight!

And I will open the phones tomorrow. And if you guys don’t want to call, we’ll soothe the savage beast with a Flashback Friday musical blast from the past, radio or not….