laugh ba dum bum jokes

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

Our hearts go out to the staff and families of “Charlie Hebdo” and to their courageous stand comedically against all forms of human mistreatment. This is a time when peace loving Muslims in France and all over the world should form “Million Muslim Marches” decrying terrorism.

One of the terrorists was caught hiding in a Paris kosher Deli. They became suspicious when he ordered a pastrami sandwich on white bread with lettuce and mayo.

This terrorist scare has nations all over the world nervous. In New York City a cab driver was arrested after a passenger saw him carrying a concealed middle-finger.

There’s been a lot of talk about GOV. CHRIS CHRISTIE hugging Dallas Cowboys owner JERRY JONES at the Cowboys football game. What was wrong with that? It was right after JONES said “Let’s send out for some hot wings.”

We have a new 114th Republican-controlled Congress of which a total of 71 lawmakers are first time members. I knew they were freshmen, their parents helped them move in over the weekend.

104 in the new Congress will be women and this will present a struggle for the men. Just to keep the toilet seat UP.

KIM JONG UN’S sister got married. Instead of reading vows at the wedding ceremony they read hacked Sony e-mails.

I was also KIM’S 32nd birthday. At his party he gathered family and friends together, lit the candles, made a wish and blew UP the cake.

A new study has found that watching Fox News can make you more conservative and watching MSNBC can make you more liberal. And watching CNN can make you think that no plane has ever made it safely to its destination.

Blistery cold weather hit the Midwest this week with over a hundred inches of snow piling up. In a cry for help, the Governor of Nebraska got in touch with AL GORE and pleaded, “If you’ve got any influence at all, could you have them speed up global warming?”

BILL GATES says he is a strong advocate of technology that converts human feces into drinkable water. All I know is, if my dog sees humans drinking toilet water, I’m sure he won’t drink anything but Evian.

Toilet water seriously being considered to be drinking water? Just imagine your doctor telling you that to stay healthy you must drink “8 flushes a day.”

The Girl Scouts announced that they’re adding three new cookies this year. “Rah-Rah Raisins” and two gluten-free flavors, “Training-Bra Macaroons” and “Making-Out Mallomars”