Let us offer up hope that a grinning Loretta Lynch knows the digits of a satirical florist in Fort Lee … the ultimate Big Man Jig appears to finally be up.
Quick vote: So, how many progressives beside moi and Laffy are jumping up and down inside about the epic Bridgegate news?!? Smug has a whole new meaning when a rat-trap like the FBI nets a biggie, New Jersey gubernatorial body Christopher Christie.
And aaaaahhhhh, waaaaah, the poor pitiful baby has to finally, firmly, put his U.S. Attorney General wet dreams to bed. Or shut down his own lane, as it were.
The present governor who, by breakfast, knew that he is truly caught … best realize that no amount of fresh manure spreading was going to prohibit the Feds formally alleging that the Governor knew everything.
Oh yes, he indeed lied and sulked from the git-go.
Hell, he likely planned the lane engineering while out on his daily morning run into Manhattan and wheezing up those tacky gilt escalators of the eponymous Trumpian Tower.
Even the New York Times had a bit of a distinct gloat between the lines of this latest Jerseyan Bridgegate News. Because he seemingly knew every damned scandalous thing. Before, during and after. The Guv’nah inspired little loyalty, and the dirty birds are publicly singing in the tri-state area this week.
NEWARK — Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey knew that three of his top officials were involved in a plan to shut down lanes leading to the George Washington Bridge as it was happening and that the closings were intended to punish a local mayor for declining to support him, federal prosecutors said on Monday.
The assertion was an unexpected and startling beginning to the trial of two former Christie administration officials charged with closing the lanes in 2013 and then covering it up. And it was a surprising claim because of the side of the courtroom it came from, as lawyers made opening statements.
Defense lawyers have long argued that Mr. Christie, a Republican, and his top advisers were well aware of the lane closings and that they directed the cover-up as they tried to protect the governor’s political aspirations — saying their clients were “thrown under the presidential bus,” as one lawyer argued on Monday.
But this was the first time a prosecutor had pointed a finger at Mr. Christie. And it directly contradicts the governor’s statements in the three years since the lanes were mysteriously closed, paralyzing the borough of Fort Lee, N.J.
A Progressive Yay!! is begging to be encouraged.
The corruption irony alone is as delicious as a fresh fried Krispy Kreme. Ole’ Bullying Jersey Boy Christopher was one of the first GOP rat-pack to scurry onto the sinking S.S. T’Rump, right into the loving embrace of The Donald — and under the secure protection of his Hair Architecture.
The topic du jour ought to be verification not of a real man’s long form birth certificate, but whether or not the busy Donald Dicque pencils in the time to erect a Giant Wall of Orange Cones around his buddy with soothing words like “Sorry big guy, you’re fired!”
Which could not happen to a more deserving Republicon … Christie has been a pus-filled boil on the seat of the OUR country for far too long already. Lance, please! And skip the novocaine.
Through and through, “I Know Nothing” Chrissy is a collective pain in the ass best purged out of the weary public eye. Happily, Laffy’s former home at The Political Carnival was on this case from Lane One, do link there for real-time savvy catch-ups and smashing sarcasm. Since 2014!!
Initially, Donald Dicque chose to throw his meaningless support behind Christie’s behind. He then went on to defend racial profiling, so we shall see where the day goes, which city bus lines are running downtown … and may we all see just how his Bro does on the Federal Stand.
If a chastened Mister Christie chooses to up his game for the primetime rug, he SO has a
wide berth open after Rick Perry tangoes off stage right of Dancing With the Stars. Or, he could bully ye olde Bravo Reality network into launching The Real House-Arrest Husbands of New Jersey. It’s half cast already, there are a lot of dirty hands roaming the wrong cookie jars to smack in that state, apparently.
We also understand that post-Federal Pen housing is very affordable in Fort Lee, so the Krispee Christie Klan will be precisely as comfy there as they deserve. (And a much closer bus commute to the 4-star Fort Dix facility than the vaunted Drumthwacket manse in Trenton.)
Ready those Jersey Tomatoes, fellow malcontents. Krispy Kreme may even do a commemorative marinara-filled powdered number for the occasion.