“We have God-given right to be intolerant of people who do not believe in our God-given right to be intolerant”

Photo by Tom Andrews-LAist Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: FAQ: RELIGIOUS FREEDOM RESTORATION ACT Q. Governor of Indiana, Mike Pence, signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. What’s the big deal? A. Two years ago, the US Supreme Court mandated that Indiana had to recognize same sex- marriages, essentially saying “Like it or lump it.” This is them lumping it. Q. Would Senate Bill 101 really allow Christians to discriminate against homosexuals? A. Critics maintain the law protects religions from being sued for actions related to their beliefs. The problem is not everyone in Indiana is [...]

Ted Cruz “surfs the crest of his constituency’s ignorance… Avowed enemy of imaginary legislation.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: CRAZY CRUZY Winter is over! Winter is over! Excuse the jubilation, but we ink- stained wretches love the ritual excitement that occurs every spring- before- the Big Quadrennial with the first sighting of a red nose popping out of the presidential wannabe clown car. This seasonal harbinger is Ted Cruz who announced his candidacy for the highest office of the land. Throwing his 10 gallon hat into the ring at Liberty University, Cruz spoke to an assembly of students whose attendance was required. Mandatory attendance at Liberty University. Sounds like [...]

“Only woman Tea Party would nominate is Barbara Bush. Not as a candidate, as a production facility.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: PROXY REMATCH Might want to stuff your pants pockets with sand and hang onto the rail as the ship of state lurches towards the distinct possibility that the election to next command the helm will be between Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton. The brother versus the wife. Sounds like a probate lawsuit. This promises to be a fabulous development for comedians everywhere, precipitating the resurrection of all our 1992 Bush/ Clinton material. It’s the green thing to do. Recycling meets nostalgia. Together again for the very first time. A rematch [...]

“Harry Reid use of word “mojo” probably not something to be ruminating upon right before bedtime.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: MESSAGE. MESSAGE. WHO’S GOT THE MESSAGE? Don’t look now, but the Democratic Party is undergoing an identity crisis of such monumental proportions, the Dissociative Identity Disorder people have called and are requesting artifacts for their Hall of Fame. Going to put Obama’s basketball hoop right next to Sally Field’s purple crayon. In the realm of improbabilities, it’s hard to beat… Democrats and their message. A lot like saying the Eskimos and their convertibles. The Mormons and their all- night dance marathons. ISIS and their art appreciation seminars. In the wake [...]

By |March 2nd, 2015|Tags: , , , , , , |Comments Off on “Harry Reid use of word “mojo” probably not something to be ruminating upon right before bedtime.”

We get it now! GOP “only pretending to be sycophantic leeches.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: UP IS DOWN Best be advised to sit down, pour yourself a beer and take a deep breath. Because you’re about to hear something that will change your life. Forever. Are you relaxed? Good, because everything you know is wrong. Ain't that always the way. Just when we think we have it all figured out, somebody comes along with information suggesting we’re so off the mark, we might have taken the neighbor’s car to work, slept with our cousin and brushed our teeth with kitchen cleanser. You know who’s holding [...]

By |February 23rd, 2015|Tags: , , , , , , |Comments Off on We get it now! GOP “only pretending to be sycophantic leeches.”

“The fossilized remains of George Wallace are alive and well and walking around in Alabama. And Kansas.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: THE NEW TAR PITS Kind of sad being forced to watch the death struggle of these modern- day dinosaurs. Responsible parents should keep their kids from peering over the Plexiglas railing into the tar pits below to see the huge lumbering antediluvian beasts frenziedly dig themselves deeper into the sticky morass that is gay marriage. Not a sight for the queasy or squeamish. For some unfathomable reason, the thought of other people having sex makes certain folks crazier than a three- legged, drunken squirrel on a telephone wire covered in [...]

By |February 16th, 2015|Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |Comments Off on “The fossilized remains of George Wallace are alive and well and walking around in Alabama. And Kansas.”

Brian Williams “legitimizes Sarah Palin; that’s never good.”

Image via Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: MISREMEMBERING Big bad brouhaha over at NBC with anchor Brian Williams misremembering being shot down in a helicopter on a trip to Iraq, when the facts seem to indicate that although he did fly in a helicopter, and was over Iraq, he was not shot down. Well, come on; the guy was close. Got 2 out of 3. They keep you in the bigs with a .667 batting average, right? Well, this time around… maybe not. Easy to see how this could happen, though. Self- aggrandizement is a [...]

By |February 9th, 2015|Tags: , , , , |Comments Off on Brian Williams “legitimizes Sarah Palin; that’s never good.”

The country-clubbing of America

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: RED VELVET ROPAGE And now for a few choice words concerning my recent demotion to the status of second- class citizen. The amazing thing is how quickly my metamorphosis into Cockroachlandia occurred. One minute, I’m walking around like an ordinary human; the next minute, I’m an insect, an unwanted stiff, a bum, a vagabond, a jamoke. About as popular as feet in a punchbowl.   It seems America is splitting into two different categories: first class and… wherever I am. Which is as far from prosperous as Kathmandu is to [...]

New Ice Age: “The tropical winds of compromise appear to have been eaten by El Nino.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: THE NEW ICE AGE “And that’s it for sports.” “Thank you Robert for the fascinating premier of your exclusive in- depth Channel 7, twelve- part series on underinflated balls, Can’t wait to see what balls you have for us tomorrow. And now, here’s Wayne with our exclusive Channel 7 Eyewitness Weather and your new up- to- the- minute national weather report, brought to you by Easy- the drug that will make you never wonder why. Ever again.” “Well, thanks Padma. Hello Foggy Bottom. Batten down the hatches people, because it’s [...]

By |January 28th, 2015|Tags: , , , |Comments Off on New Ice Age: “The tropical winds of compromise appear to have been eaten by El Nino.”

Je Suis #Hebdo: “You could say the CIA is America’s only straight up satirical organization.”

Another snark-filled guest post by the one, the only Will Durst: JE SUIS HEBDO Decades after being dismissed by George S. Kaufman as a genre that “closes on Saturday night,” satire, like the measles and mumps, is making a comeback. And in many quarters, remains the most feared of the three conditions. Some experts hold to a strict definition: “satire portrays a viewpoint, while intending something different.” The most famous example being Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” the essay in which he advised Ireland’s poor to alleviate their poverty by selling their babies as food for the rich. At least we [...]

By |January 20th, 2015|Tags: , , , |Comments Off on Je Suis #Hebdo: “You could say the CIA is America’s only straight up satirical organization.”

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