teehee laugh comedy blog

“Last Blog Standing” starts riiight….now!

Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.

For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts,  too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.

A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:

There was another massive snowstorm and freezing cold weather in the Northeast. New Jersey was buried under 3 feet of snow and nobody looked for it.

Washington D.C. hasn’t seen this much white stuff since MARION BARRY was Mayor.

It was 2 degrees in New York city. It was so cold the Statue of Liberty is using Chapstick.

Flashers in Central Park were handing out 8 by 10 glossies.

People in Boston were so cold they turned “Fifty Shades of Blue.”

With all the snow and freezing temperature you just can’t get out of the house. It could really put a strain on hospitals. Not now, but in nine months when every woman in Boston and New York will be giving birth at the same time.

The 139th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was held at Madison Square Garden and MISS P, a 4 year-old Beagle extraordinaire, took down all comers. Not only did she win on looks, but in talent, in an evening gown and in a swimsuit.

A dog show is great to watch, but if you really want to see rolling over and playing dead in Madison Square Garden, go to a Knicks game.

A recent poll shows that New Jersey residents feel HILLARY CLINTON has the “right look” to be President, while CHRIS CHRISTIE doesn’t. CHRISTIE was spotted at JC Penny, trying on pantsuits.

Actually, the New Jersey Gov. is not all that sure that he’ll be running for President. He found out there isn’t a subway within five miles of the White House. Not the train, the sandwich shop.

The annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition hit newsstands this week. I wouldn’t say the outfits were scandalous but when I first looked at the issue my eyesight was 20/20. By the time I finished it was 36-D.

Model HANNAH DAVIS landed on the cover. She’s dating Baseball’s DEREK JETER and one look at her tells you, DEREK may have retired, but he still knows how to get to 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base and they’re waving him home.

After a recent measurement it seems the WASHINGTON MONUMENT is about 10 inches shorter than was originally thought. But not to worry. They threw in a few buckets of “Viagra” and it should be back up to its regular size in no time.

Gasoline prices have begun rising after months of low cost gas at the pumps. And it’s predicted they will continue to go up right through to the summer. Station owners feel so terrible, out of guilt they’re cleaning their restrooms.

Lent officially began this week and I have a moth in my closet who must be really religious. He gave up lint for Lent.

JEB BUSH gave a speech and he had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. When reached for comment, his brother GEORGE W. said, “He sure sounds presidential to me.”