Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc. A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
TRUMP said his big meeting with Republican senators was a love fest; with multiple standing ovations. They were mostly getting up to leave, but still, that counts as standing.
Why is DONALD TRUMP so proud of getting a standing ovation? Standing ovations are a show of respect. I’m now living in a Senior Living Complex where a standing ovation is a miracle.
According to protocol, people are required to stand when the President enters a room? So him saying “standing ovation” is not such an accomplishment. It’s like saying, “Every time I walk into a Starbucks, the guy behind the counter asks me if I want coffee.”
The first game of the World Series at Dodgers Stadium was the fastest World Series game in decades. Fans in L.A. were at the game for 2½ hours and on the Freeways for 5½.
It was also the hottest World Series game ever – 103 degrees. How hot was it? They didn’t have to cook the Dodger Dogs, just pop ’em into a roll and they were ready to go.
It was so hot for the first game, the Dodgers couldn’t wait for KERSHAW to get back on the mound, just to feel the breeze from the Houston bats.
The average ticket for the first Dodgers-Astros World Series game was about $3,000. That’s crazy!! For that kind of money, you could see half of “Hamilton.”
To put it in a better perspective. Right now a ticket to the World Series is worth more than the Weinstein Company.
HARVEY WEINSTEIN just finished a week-long stay at a rehab clinic for sex addiction. He would’ve stayed longer, but all the other sex addicts thought HARVEY was too creepy.
Several prominent men have been fired for sexual harassment and it’s being called “The Harvey Effect.” Of course, none of them will see any jail time and that’s being called “The Cosby Effect.”
51 percent of Democrats now have a favorable view of former President GEORGE W. BUSH. Makes sense. With TRUMP in the White House, you’d have a favorable view of the flu if you suddenly found yourself with the plague.
There is a major scandal in the world of the big Alaska race, “The Iditarod.” It turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs and tested positive for a banned substance. Officials became suspicious when one of the dogs stood on its hind legs, picked up a bat and hit a home run.
Saudi Arabia became the first country in the world to grant citizenship to a robot. Big deal! We elected one Vice President.