First, a personal note from my Father In Law (F.I.L.), the author of these wonderful jokes:
I will be on hiatus for the next few weeks as my wife and I are leaving our home of 46 years and moving into a Senior Living Complex. We’re quite excited about going into this new phase of our lives and as soon as we get the Internet, as well as ourselves, up and running we’ll be back with some laughs. We’re a little nervous about the move so any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
Mr. Laffy and I will be helping them move next weekend. It’s been an emotional time, but the complex (right around the corner from where we live) is gorgeous and the people there are wonderful and full of life. We’re all feeling comforted that they’ll be so close to us and we’re all breathing a little easier knowing they’ll have everything they need and then some.
We now return to our regular scheduled programming:
Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc. A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
PRESIDENT TRUMP went to Puerto Rico this Tuesday, albeit a week late, to survey the damage done by the hurricane. And MIKE PENCE went on Wednesday, to survey the damage done by the President.
The PRESIDENT had a nice visit to Puerto Rico. He said it gave all the First Responders a chance to meet with the Last Responder.
TRUMP told Puerto Rico that the recovery effort really threw his budget “out of whack.” Then Puerto Rico looked at his wacky budget and said, “Haven’t we been through enough?”
It’s been reported that, Secretary of State, REX TELLERSON, called President TRUMP a “moron” and then was talked out of resigning by MIKE PENCE. PENCE’S exact words were “Don’t quit, that moron needs you.”
I guess TILLERSON isn’t so much Secretary of State as he is “Secretary of Stating the Obvious.”
After it came out that TILLERSON called TRUMP a “moron,” TILLERSON held a press conference and called the President “smart.” Then he said, “Do you think the moron bought it?”
A pro-life congressman is accused of asking his mistress to get an abortion so his wife wouldn’t find out about his affair. He defended himself saying, “When I said I’m pro-life, I meant I’m pro-MY-life.”
It was revealed that IVANKA and DONALD TRUMP JR. were nearly indicted for fraud back in 2012 for misleading investors. You know what they say; “The apple doesn’t fall far from the guy who, in 2016, misled an entire country out of their apples.”
There’s a rumor that the Lakers are trying to sign LeBRON JAMES. They’re telling him, “The weather in L.A. is great. The town is loaded with fellow celebrities plus, as a Laker, you get the entire playoff season off.”
Jews all over the world celebrated the Jewish New Year 5778 last week. According to the Chinese calendar the year is 4715. How Jewish people got along without Chinese food for over a thousand years I’ll never know.