Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
The baseball All-Star Game will be played on Tuesday July 11th, in Miami. Remember when baseball used to be our national pastime before it was replaced by DONALD TRUMP.
TRUMP said he was considering “pretty severe things” in response to North Korea’s firing of a ballistic missile. Not only did he discuss it with PUTIN and put our defense system on standby, but he’s alerted the entire cast of M*A*S*H to be ready to go back on TV.
Congrats to JOEY CHESTNUT who won the Fourth of July “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest” for the 10th time by eating 72 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. Another guy said, “But I ate a hundred!” Then the judges said, “You have to wait until we say ‘Go!’ GOVERNOR CHRISTIE.”
Champion CHESTNUT, after munching down 72 wieners almost couldn’t wait to be handed this year’s first prize, a Nitro-Glycerin Suppository.
Here’s something to think about when you’re a little low, concerned about world events. This guy, JOEY CHESTNUT, actually ate 72 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. Ladies and gentlemen, thanks to PRESIDENT TRUMP, “America IS getting great again.”
Once again the yearly “Running of the Bulls” in Pamplona, Spain is taking place. It happens every year on St. Dufus Day.
What a sight! Poor, dumb, stupid creatures running wildly through the streets – being chased by bulls.
Who can forget last year when the streets were madly hectic, filled with crowds of men jumping on the bulls as they wildly crashed down the avenidas past the “Frozen testosterone-gelato stands.”
It’s VACATION TIME; You’re in “Europe Heaven” when the English greet you – the French cook for you – the Italians entertain you – and the Germans organize the whole thing.
You’re in “Europe Hell” when the French greet you – the English cook for you – the Germans entertain you – and the Italians organize it.
Last week we celebrated the 4TH OF JULY. It’s when we commemorate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on this day in 1776. It’s a little known fact, but the 4th of July holiday actually stimulates worker productivity:
After spending a day with loud fireworks – noisy parades – sloppy picnics – screaming children walking barefoot through the potato salad – and ants taking a sightseeing tour through your shorts — workers CAN’T WAIT to get back to their jobs the next day.