Yes, it’s time to steal a few more jokes from my father-in-law (F.I.L.). His blog posts range from political comedy to humorous commentary on pop culture.
For those of you who might be new here, he used to write for Alan King, Milton Berle and Jonathan Winters, just to name a few. And all those Dean Martin Roasts, too: Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Phyllis Diller, Sammy Davis, Jr., etc.
A tiny respite from all the frustrating events of the day:
The Republican healthcare plan never got to the floor of the House for fear it would die there. It seems too many Democrats as well as Republicans were afraid that dying on the floor of YOUR house should be covered by the Republican healthcare plan.
The Republican Party has begun the process of having THEMSELVES “Repealed and replaced.”
House Speaker PAUL RYAN took a big hit by halting the vote on the GOP Healthcare Plan. When he heard, former PRESIDENT OBAMA called and told him, “Don’t worry. Obamacare covers depression.”
TRUMP’S approval rating is down to 37 percent, which makes it the lowest approval rating of any President ever. BILL CLINTON had to do weird stuff with a cigar and then only got down to 38 percent.
Last week, PRESIDENT TRUMP released his first budget. It features a $54 billion increase in military spending and to pay for it he’s cutting things like the “Corporation for Public Broadcasting” and the “National Endowment for the Humanities.” Look for the buildings on Sesame Street and the Statue of Liberty to go Condo.
TRUMP is also eliminating the “National Endowment for the Arts” and I’m a bit surprised. A “pussy-grabber” is always interested in anyone who is well-endowed.
IVANKA TRUMP is getting an office in the West Wing and it was said she’s is going to act as her father’s “eyes and ears” Now all we need is for her to take over his mouth and his thumbs so he can stop tweeting.
Last week was the 11th birthday of Twitter. It’s hard to believe that eleven years ago, DONALD TRUMP was just writing crazy things on the walls in Trump Tower.
Supreme Court nominee NEIL GORSUCH started his confirmation hearings this week and was grilled about his stance on torture. After just five minutes of questioning by Senator AL FRANKEN, GORSUCH broke down and told everything.
MARCH MADNESS is officially underway and it’s great for both the spectator and the college player. For the youngster making it to the “Final Four” is a once in a lifetime experience. Just like making it to class.
There have already been some major upsets. For instance, South Carolina pulled off a huge upset by beating Duke. The only question is, “Did Russia help?”
Also in the first round, Wisconsin took out top overall seed Villanova, and Michigan beat Louisville. Wisconsin and Michigan haven’t knocked out the favorite since the election.
Speaking of basketball. This season the LAKERS lost to the Rockets, Mavericks, Warriors and the Spurs by an average of more than 40 points. Things are so bad in Los Angeles they don’t have cheerleaders anymore — “grief counselors.”
Last week the White House had three security scares. The Secret Service said two people tried to break in, and one First Lady tried to break out.
Plans for the border wall continue and there are several requirements that the White House issued. It must be tall, good-looking and not fat or ugly. It pretty much looks like TRUMP updated his Miss Universe regulations and made them into a wall.
The gang who stole $110,000 worth of cheese was finally apprehended. The police were on the lookout for thieves who were armed, had recently gained weight and were extremely constipated.